All about me. All of my inner stirrings. All of my hopes, dreams, and goals. All of my complaints, grudges, and fears. All of me.
Despite the desire, I find myself not in a place where I’m able to create and write…. but I AM in a place of cleaning up in my writing world. I’ve spent some time recently organizing my documents, photos and folders. I’ve even seen some memories pop up on Facebook of some writing that was never shared on my blog, so I’ve taken the time to add it there as well. I...
This morning, as I took my shower, moments of my past flooded my thoughts. They unfolded in my mind as if they were happening all over again. Moments when I didn’t feel like I was enough. Moments that hold immense guilt for me. Moments that have played a role in shaping who I am today. I don’t know what brought this on. I didn’t plan it. I didn’t knowingly conjure it. I...
As the last minutes of 2019 slip away, I’m left with a feeling of accomplishment. I’ve learned a lot this year – about myself and others. I’ve started new things. Put myself out there. I’ve loved myself and stood up for myself in ways I never have before. I’ve placed boundaries. I’ve gained confidence. I’ve grown. I’ve spent the past year...
Seeing the changes in what I want now compared to what I thought was the ultimate goal a few years ago is shocking. I’m still struggling with fully accepting that the picture I had in my head of how I wanted my life to look isn’t the only right way. We’ve been taught to aim for certain things in life. We’ve been taught to strive and work towards a certain lifestyle. Allowing myself to want...
Birthdays, anniversaries and holidays are big reminders of those who are no longer with us. Some may have passed away. Others may have chosen to leave our lives… and others we might have decided to walk away from. I’m the type of person who doesn’t accidentally forget a birthday. Every year, without fail, I send the card, make the call and send a text. Today, I chose a different...
I can’t erase you from my life. You are still a part of my story. You are in my memories. But they’re tainted now. I can’t ignore what you’ve said. And I can’t ignore how you’ve made me feel. You picked up the phone and kicked me out of your life. You sat in my childhood home and shunned me with memories of me in that house all around you. Even the very chair...
