When it comes to setting goals, I guess you can say I play it pretty safe. I only set goals that are 100% in my control. I don’t set weight loss goals, because I know at times, my weight does not 100% directly reflect my efforts. I do, however, set goals on how many steps I take.. or how many miles I cycle. Those are in my control.
I don’t set vague goals of “eat better” because I won’t have a definitive moment of knowing if I met that goal or not. Goals like that aren’t concrete. I like numbers. They are concrete. Matter of fact. Black and white. They also seem more tangible to me. Reachable. Doable.
I’m usually a quiet goal setter.. very much so. Maybe for fear of failure or humiliation or whatever, but I tend to make goals and not share them with others.
For my home-life and work-life, I usually set goals that are just beyond what I think I can do. I have a strong need and want to do more than what I think I can do, so I usually end up crushing the goals fairly quickly.
Workout goals have always been a little different though, as they usually get brushed to the side and dismissed. Life happens and most life happenings are more important than me working out…
That’s just what it has been. As a mother… as a wife… I put myself at the bottom of the list. And with poor self-esteem and the lack of confidence that I could even do it, any motivation or workout streak I have ever had simply didn’t last long.
But the winds of change have come. And things are shifting.
On January 9th, 2018, I got my Fitbit Charge 2. It was the beginning of one of my many workout streaks.
I was quickly derailed. Kids got sick. We started homeschooling again. Life got in the way. It wasn’t important enough.
I went through various ups and downs with working out since then.
In June, I felt the urge to start moving again. To get back on the “trying to be healthy” track. I set goals that have been kind of a secret, until now. I had set a step goal of 2,222,222 steps from January 9th until December 31th, 2018. I also set a crazy cycling goal of 1,111 miles.
Honestly, at the time, I hoped I could keep up with it, but I really didn’t know if I could.
It didn’t last long. Life got in the way. We started preparing to open a new office. I was meeting my step goals, but not in the way I wanted. At the end of the day, there was nothing left in me to get on my stationary bike and chip away at the hefty mileage goal I had set for myself.
So months went by. We finally finished up the office space and had our ribbon cutting August 2nd. After that, I needed rest. I was dealing with the energy shift of coming into contact with so many new people, with all of their new energy… that I, as an empath, got to carry around with me too. The toll it took on me was eye-opening. It definitely took some getting use to. My step goals were left unmet. My cycling goal was all but forgotten. It ate at me that I wasn’t working towards it, but I needed rest.
Early in September, we got news of my mother’s health issues. Her heart. Her cancer. The following days, I was sick to my stomach. I couldn’t keep any food in me. By Sunday, I had started to feel a little better and I made the choice to radically change the foods I was eating. I wanted to actually fuel my body, instead of feed my emotions.
Tuesday rolled around and Kevin wanted to get the kids working out again. We all need to be on a better workout routine and get our bodies healthy. At that point, I had been eating and recovering for a few days, so I got on my bike for the first time in months. I knocked out my best session and cycled 16.02 miles in just 60.63 minutes. I did it. And it felt great!
The next day, I had errands to run and that alone got me up over my 10k step goal. Thursday, I spent a lot of time processing what had been going on, which led to a lot of writing. I didn’t meet my step goal that day, but the writing I did was definitely therapeutic and definitely what needed my attention.
Friday came and it was time for Kevin to help the kids work out again. I got back on my bike and knocked out 17.01 miles in 61.38 minutes. I was getting faster. I felt great. The next day, I did a slow stretch and only cycled 3.02 miles. It felt good to keep moving in the right direction though. Slowly chipping at that huge goal that I had set. I kinda figured the 1,111 miles was really no longer an option, but I knew if I kept at it, I could possibly hit 500 miles before the year’s end.
Sunday, I did 15.06 more miles. Monday, I knocked out 17.02 more miles. Tuesday, I busted my ass and made it to 18.1 miles in 60.23 minutes! I AM stronger. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. I AM. I am doing it. I am actually making a difference. Wednesday, the day after I did my longest and fastest ride, I cycled 36.08 miles! I did it in three sessions and they were much slower rides, but I did it! On my “OFF DAY”!!
By the end of the week, I had broke and set new daily step records 5 days in a row and I had cycled an astounding 257.12 miles! I couldn’t believe it. I did that! Maybe my 1,111 mile goal was achievable. Maybe I could do it. I never thought I could do what I had just done and there I was with the numbers staring me in the face.
I am stronger than I ever thought. I am capable of more than I ever knew. I’m impressing my husband and even myself. It feels great!
The next week ended with a total of 181.95 miles cycled. I had added in running and some resistance band training. I also beat my step record and won my 50k Step Badge on Fitbit. I am amazed at where I am today and how 3 weeks completely turned my life around.
I want to be fit and healthy. I want this more now than ever before, but I don’t think that “want” is what has gotten me to where I am today. I think the love that I have given myself in the last few years… The grace.. the forgiveness… the shedding of the guilt talk and the talking down to myself… the appreciation I began to have for my body as it is.
I think all of that is what brought me to where I am today. It gave me space to see who I really am and what I am really capable of doing. And I’m more grateful now, than ever, to be me.
