Today is Monday. It didn’t start out like a normal Monday. It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t horrible. It wasn’t miserable. Yeah, I felt tired, but I was still rested enough to not wake up feeling like death. I took a quick shower, releasing all negative energy as I cleansed my body. I got Kevin’s coffee and my tea going. Tiger Eye tea.. sweet hints of caramel in the morning, without all the extra sugar added. My newly found favorite.
We eased into our day. Started a new week in just the right way. Slow, at ease and together.
Now that we felt ready for the day, things had to get done. We started on school. Worksheets for Evan. Online schoolwork for Leala. Kevin had a meeting, so after lots of hugs and kisses, he slipped out the door to not be seen again, until he came home for a late lunch.
A pile of ungraded papers sat on the dining table, waiting for me… Calling for me… willing me to be productive. I answered the call and started on the pile that was far too big to even consider on a Monday. I was feeling brave.
Minutes later, I could tell Evan was feeling a little case of the Mondays. Not very confident. Not focused. Not in the groove. After a 5 minute break, he came back and was on track again. Monday wasn’t taking us down yet!
Hours passed quickly. I finished grading the pile and felt accomplished. Evan finished his worksheets and even mastered a few social studies IXL skills online. Leala mastered 20 skills! Lunch time arrived and the afternoon happenings busied us all.
After Kevin’s big meeting and handling some business things at the office, he came home for lunch. The kids were already in their room playing. We caught up with each other. I smudged him. We chilled and we ate.
Kevin tended business matters – from home this time. I was amping myself up for an afternoon workout. The phone rang. It had to be either a telemarketer… or my mom.
An instant warmth came over me. My mom. I picked up and words poured out of her as though we hadn’t missed a beat, since we last talked before the weekend. There was no rhyme or reason to what she was saying. She just wanted to talk. And I wanted to listen.
She talked about it all. Everything. She told me about her day. She asked me to place an order for her online. She commented on the photos I had sent her of our recent walking adventures. She gave advice and recommendations on skin products. I cling to every word this woman says… I’m thankful for the time we can spend talking, connecting and laughing.
She gave me an update on her appointments. If she doesn’t take any off days, her last radiation session would be May 10th. The week after that, she’ll be put on estrogen blockers. I asked about a date of when they might do testing to know that all of this had worked… she said she didn’t know. She would ask. She was told that they got all the cancer out and that with chemo and radiation, there should be no more cancer. But I’m sure there’s some type of testing that will be done after all of this, and hopefully we can get the all clear.
I told her that I look forward to being able to say that my mom is cancer-free.
We chatted some more. Updated some more. Laughed. Loved. Cherished. And then we finally had to stop procrastinating and got off the phone.
Then Monday came in full throttle. It hit me. Out of nowhere. The heaviness. The realness. The reality of it all.
It comes in like waves every now and then. One minute, I’m dealing with it all just fine. I’m accepting and understanding and I’m moving forward. And then other times, out of nowhere, it’s like someone pulled the rug right out from under me. Like I’m being told for the first time all over again. My mom has cancer.
My mom has cancer.
I’m in disbelief. I question. I cry. I get mad. I’m at a loss. I breathe.
My mom has cancer. As hard as it is for me, it’s a million times harder for her. I toughen up. I wipe the tears. I release the negativity and open my heart and soul to positive thoughts. She’ll get through this.
She WILL get through this. She will be cancer-free.
