World of Paradoxes

My beautiful friend, Megan of Your Spirit Sparkle and Peace in My Mind posted this message in her Facebook group this morning:

“This is a world of paradoxes. You can feel hate and love for the same person or life circumstance. You can feel joyous and sad at the same time. Know that the cycles you experience are part of life. When you experience a lull, do not doubt the entirety of what you are creating, just know that this is the natural rhythm of life. Do not let these inconsistencies make you question your steps. Keep your eyes on what there is to do that is before you and keep moving, or being. It’s all okay.” 

This is the most perfect message for me today. There’s been so many ups and downs, happiness and anger, excitement and dread… all about the same stuff. We’ve had a lot of great moments, but there’s been some tough ones too and for a few seconds, I questioned all of it. I didn’t know if we were doing the right thing or not – if we were in over our head or not. But I centered myself and I remembered that these are just moments of a much bigger picture, and it’s okay.

Last week, we had the ribbon cutting at our new office space. Believe me, I was so super nervous about all of it. Would I say the wrong thing? Would I freeze? Would I know what to say at all? Would I feel absolutely horrible from ALL of the extra energy moving around our space? Would I be overwhelmed and sick from it all? But it all worked out. I didn’t say anything wrong. I was able to be myself. I wasn’t too overwhelmed. All was fine. Everyone LOVED the space and complimented us on it the entire time. I did end up with a huge migraine, but it wasn’t from being anxious or overwhelmed.. just a lot of different and new energy from all the people who came, and that’s to be expected, I suppose. I was relieved, despite the headache, that it went so well.

But later in the day, we had a very bad experience with a new client and the day seemed to take a nosedive. Such horrible energy and vibes. The next day, our relationship with the client officially ended. It was the best outcome for everyone involved. We learned from the experience and we now know more boundaries we will set with the next client. But wow… it was draining and actually physically sickening. It put a huge damper on our ribbon cutting day and even made me dread coming up to the office the next day. For just a little bit, I questioned things. For just a little bit, I let that one experience almost sum up the whole big picture we have for this office space. Thankfully I snapped out of it and was able to put things back into perspective and see it for what it was. A learning experience that was really just a moment in time, and not a representation of the entirety of our time here.

The same goes with homeschooling. We love that we homeschool our kids. There are so many pros and perks, but the last couple of weeks have been TOUGH. Super tough! Tougher than they have ever been with Evan. He has just not been motivated to do his schoolwork at all. There’s been lots of whining and crying. With getting the office ready and running errands, I let it slide and let him come with me on most of my numerous trips to the store. I felt it would give him the break he needed from school and still allow me to do what I needed to do. Then, Kevin’s parents came to visit, so that they could be here for the ribbon cutting. I let Evan do typing lessons in place of his normal schoolwork most of those days. I just didn’t have it in me to “fight” with him anymore.

And now, the ribbon cutting is over. The office is pretty well put together. The in-laws have gone home. School needed to be done today. Cue the crying. I had to remind myself that this too, is just a moment of the overall big picture. These past couple of weeks filled with changed schedules, long days, visitors, strangers, errands, less sleep, crying, whining, mixed energy, full moon, lunar eclipse, and Mercury retrograde was all just a phase… and that it did not mean that our entire homeschooling experience should end. It just meant that this is what was happening at this moment. That’s all. All we can do is do our best to navigate the day and make it out on the other side. It won’t be perfect. It won’t be pretty. It won’t be easy. But we’ll do it. We’ll make it. We’ll be okay. 

“Joy and disappointment co-mingle with opportunities, so there is no need to fear the occasional obstacle. Life is not a sprint.” – Wisdom of the Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid